系會捐血

莊員唔好打我...

想像力

中秋節，喺天台同屋企人燒嘢食同埋賞月。

雖然天文台話可能睇唔到個月亮，但係嗰日大部份時間都見到個好圓好圓嘅月光，附近有少少雲陪住個月亮，所以唔覺得個月亮孤令令喺個天空上面。

我見到天空咁大，俾少少想像力，自己喺個地球入面比啲大氣層包住，上面個月亮圍住自己轉...點解佢唔會跌落黎呢。

呢個時候又食多兩件雞翼，又桔多兩件雞翼嚟燒。

之後又攞咗兩件月餅嚟食，幾好幾好。遺憾嘅係冇汽水，如果有嘢冰凍嘅汽水就 fit 哂啦。

當然又睇吓電視，同屋企人傾計呀咁。（電視搬咗上天台。）

好似冇點燈籠，唔興掛，我諗。

我又諗，點解呢個活動要叫做賞月呢，其實，真係無乜去望個月亮。話哂佢都係主角，如果我係佢比人冷落咗都幾無奈。

天氣清涼，如果可以喺天台度瞓，地係床以天係被，應該幾得意。

「凍死你呀！」

今朝攞起隻杯，睇到杯內雪白無比，覺得屋企人真係好。

夜晚返屋企見到間房有人執過，原全無咗嗰種溫馨嘅感覺，只係覺得要將啲嘢打亂返好麻煩。

人真係奇怪，要諗咁多嘢。

「你咁做即係想點？」

明報《網站無警告字眼禁重複提交》2007年9月26日

記者嘗試直接寄出電郵，自行撰寫意見，電郵中並無提供個人資料，亦是重複寄出，亦未見「打回頭」。

記者做這個測試，有甚麼結論？

沒有任何結論。

因為電子郵件從軟件送出時，只是由用戶端的電郵伺服器接受，也就是 "accepted for delivery"，此後，用戶無從得知對方是否會收到該電郵。這種測試方法無知、可笑。

近來，明報喜用引號，將口語放到文字去。加引號不代表他們可以用口語。

This is crazy talking

I read a blog post by Wil Shipley (who write programs for Delicious Monster). I found it deeply touching, especially near the end, about the feeling of losing everything he loves. Also the question "is genius linked with craziness?" is inspirational, I have given a few thoughts on it, those who understand me should know.

In the last three paragraphs, what he described sounds amazingly familiar.

Fortunately I have never been diagnosed as suffered from depression. Or I should say I haven't been depressed enough to qualify the medical definition of a person suffering depression. It hasn't caused enough impact to my life. If I am not qualified to claim this feeling of mine as depressed, what else can I call it? Sad? It is not sad - I'm not saying that sad is not involved, but it is only part of it.

I have always admired those who have never feel depressed, whose life looked so cheerful, friends never in shortage.

And My heart goes to those who are depressed. I never could imagine how I could endure the hopelessness and everything this brings. I know friends who suffered from depression and I don't know what I could do... there is nothing I can do.

I can't help myself either.

A trip to the Island

After the show I took the tram to Causeway Bay. I actually think it is where many cute guys hang around (of course there are MK guys who migrated to Causeway Bay for no reasons, but anyway we pretend they didn't exist anyway). I looked like a slightly over-sized boy who don't care very much about how he looks. Sometimes I feel that a guy is looking at my direction, I always think they find me weird or something. I seldom looked at myself in the mirror, too afraid to see horrible thing. (Is that me!?)

Causeway Bay is not for me. I can't remember if I found myself comfortable in this place... nor any place, then it is not the problem of Causeway Bay after all.

I went to Times Square and collected a box of Häagen-Dazs ice-cream moon cake. Delicious. Also picked up a Starbucks drink a few levels up. The barista seemed confused when I ordered, and what I ordered isn't complicated - just plain iced tall latte. Is there something wrong with my pronunciation? I knew that I have some pronunciation problem but people can hear what I said no matter how I say it, what a nice place this is.

《再見不再見》將會重演

本人覺得這是一個不錯的劇目，創作導演演也是彭秀慧包辦。有興趣又有金錢是值得一看的。

《再見不再見》重演
2-4/11, 6-8/11 8pm
4/11 3pm
香港藝術中心壽臣劇院
$195 $165 ($150 $100)

《瘋女社》

Yesterday night I knew from 萊斯's blog that there is a theatre show at Shouson Theatre today, and the show in the afternoon would be the last. I suddenly felt interested in it because, well I have basically nothing to do today and all of my close friends are either busy or have their own dates. Today morning I read that they lowered the price and I called Anthony (a guy who is responsible for the show's ticketing) and got tickets from him directly. I got so lucky this time for buying tickets late.

I arrived with only a few minutes to spare. I don't have much time to read the programme and I don't know much about who would appear in the show. What I did know is that 彭秀慧 was the director to the show, and I liked her 《再見不再見》 a lot, and this is the primary reason why I went there. The show today was 《瘋女社》. It is a musical theatre.

The scriptwriter of the show was 茜利妹 and this came a bit of surprise to me. (I really didn't know beforehand! I'm out-dated, as always.) 葉宇澄, 葉佩雯 and 李卓庭 appeared (the later two of which I haven't heard of :p) and sung a few songs, also 梁祖堯 who appeared in a video recording (full of gags, though looked inspirational).

The musical wasn't the most enjoyable I have been to, but it certainly was not bad. The music suited the mood and theme of the musical (a little bit crazy, exaggerated) and they were good. The songs (note the difference in "music" and "songs") didn't fit so much IMHO. The reason for this might just be that I can't hear the lyrics clearly and so I didn't really know if the meaning fitted. I did like some of the songs though, especially some rock and roll and the emotional kind near the end.

I especially like how they lifted the a piece of set decoration to reveal a small room full of carton boxes and Yip playing a piano, accompanied by a plant with no leaves and tall lamp. Still can't hear the lyrics - my fault. If only I could hear them more clearly then that should have been a touching scene. This kind of presentation reminded me of 馴情記 actually, in which the stage elevated to reveal a fully grown plant appeared earlier on. It makes me feel that something (eg feeling) is already there most of the time, it is just that we didn't aware it is there.

I'd have to say the show isn't very much inspirational for me. Maybe it is because I don't get it, or that they are expressing some feelings I haven't felt before and so I don't understand. This happens all the time. I do get a glimpse of it, maybe I'll discover something more later on.

I also liked some dance (can't think of a better word). One scene featuring all mentally ill patents and those who are sane doing a little dance, like a crazy dance. Everything looked random but it was enjoyable to watch.

iPhone as it is now

Not good.

I saw an iPhone yesterday in person. I was not looking for it on purpose. I was waiting for a taxi and a couple a few metres from me said, "It is already connected to the Internet." Looking at the voice's direction, I saw something shiny, prestige maybe. Nevertheless a women held the little baby and she looked clueless. Moron.

Speaking of which the taxi never came, I took the light bus.

Maybe it is because of Ming Pao's coverage of the phone and the SimLock hack, people start noticing the phone and flock to Mong Kok and buy one. Anyway the iPhone is a great device, and no device on the market packed so much technologies in one thing. (except for N90, but it doesn't look gorgeous and it doesn't have the touch screen)

But there are something I do not like about the iPhone as it is now. It is too popular. Using something so popular is not consistent with my style.

Secondly and more importantly, it is a close system. It looks like Apple is not trying to build a platform, they just want to build a device. iPhone is not like a Mac that everyone is free to build software and even install another operating systems on it. One cannot install anything on the iPhone though. Apple dictated what you can do with it. I still don't get comfortable with the idea that I can only do what some people allowed me to do, especially as the device is a piece of hardware I paid for. I can do whatever I wanted with it. This is worse than Windows Mobile - they have a platform and people can develop things around it. With iPhone, Apple ditched the long supporting Mac developers and destoryed the trust that Mac developers can build good software. (iPhone runs on Mac OS X with its ARM processor.)

And this is just the beginning. If you looked closely, Apple put so much restrictions on the device and it is even more restrictive than other mobile phones on the market. You cannot put your ringtones on it. (Officially, I mean, Hong Kong doesn't have her on iTunes store.) You cannot connect the device to the computer and expect the file system to be accessible from the computer. And finally, you cannot use it with the carrier of your choosing.

Bundling the phone with the carrier is the stupidity that Americans get used to. People in other parts of the world don't do it the same way. If the phone is bundled with 3 Hong Kong, I won't even think about buying it, unless there is still a way to unlock the phone by then and it won't void the warranty. Speaking of carrier choices in Hong Kong, Apple should choose China Mobile Peoples - because they are the only carrier in Hong Kong that still lives in the Jurassic era and operates EDGE.

The idea that Apple is starting to rot is circulating on the blogosphere. I worried this might just be the case.

When did the 911 attack take place?

《異型金剛》（三）

是你嗎？你在微微地笑
心跳 如今確是奇妙

忘記了寫這是一個音樂劇，音樂歌詞很能配合故事，而且有現場音樂，營造應有的氣氛，絕對值得一讚。

有一幕上演分手復仇計劃，大概是同一件事重覆很多次，每次更改一點點。我很喜歡這個手法。雖然對此已沒有新鮮感（曾經看過了），但我總覺得很特別，有點永遠走不出某個框架的意味，我們的生命又不是重重覆覆做著一樣的事！

記得老師說過，以同性戀作主題的戲不一定有甚麼特別。我在想，此劇主題雖然是同性戀，但是深層的感情，所說愛的感覺，尋找變成失望，孤獨等，其實應是所有人都可以感受到的。這個主題，就只是傳達某些感情的一個媒介吧。

小孩沒有刻意將朋友分類，為何我們成長後要敵我分明，鬥過你死我活？為何我們還要刻意區分不同的人？我們本來就是一樣的！

本來我不明白為何要在牛池灣上演，完場後走進地鐵站，我終於明白了（或許是一個美麗的巧合）。

開始發現自己寫得太多，怕沒有看過的會預先知道劇情。不過網誌本身就是助我記下一些看法，接著是讓朋友知到我的看法，其他的也管不到了。

《異型金剛》（二）

繼續。

I'm super fed up! - 印象頗深刻的一句。

深刻的也有一幕戲 - 《與神對話》。

我首先聯想到是一句「以下是廣告客戶的說話」。這幕好像一定要帶出主辦單的訊息，就是安全性行為，而主辦單位正是康樂及文化事務署。得悉此事時覺得有點古怪，署方鮮有主辦這類戲劇活動。這樣看來，一切變得容易明白。出發點是好的，而且我想提出的感覺與此訊息沒有很大的關係，在此不再詳述。

死亡是很難面對的，最少我一直這樣認為。我偶爾會想，在臨別這個世界的一刻，會是很恐佈的感受，尤其是知道一段很短很短的時間，我的思想我的感覺很快會消失，在那時，如果沒有人再身旁，就更恐佈。劇中角色的說話動作，再加上燈光和聲音的配合，營造一種倒數生命的感覺，十萬個恐佈。

這個其實不是這場戲想說的，這只是我的感受。個人以言這場戲給我一點安慰，因為它好像要和我們說我們不是孤獨的，又或人就不是孤獨的。死的時候雖然只有自己面對死神（所謂的死神是林澤群的一個爆笑造形），但其實死神一直都以「自己人」身份安慰他。而且那四個間場時出現的角色又重回到台上，之前四個獨立的間場的意義好像一起在成形。我們不是孤獨的，到要死的一刻亦然。

在台上又看到一種無條件的愛，只是感到一點不真實，可能因為，我開始懷疑這會否出現。

仲有呀，我同朋友都覺得嗰個買 KFC 嘅仔仔好得呀好鍾意。都話我唔係淨係去睇腹肌囉！

未講完，而家練習打多啲中文，待續。

《異型金剛》

上星期五到牛池灣看了《異型金剛》，「劇團」是上次看《弍人聚．２人散》的異人實現劇場。

內容鋪排是上次的翻版，多個故事穿插，特別是四個沒有對白的間場部份，好像有一點的關連，近尾聲的時候要將它們都連在一起，但又沒有明言。在脫離現實的《異型》鬧劇，令觀眾笑破肚皮之餘，又有一點時間靜下來（並且讓演員換戲服，而後者可能更重要），用心感受一些情節。雖然故事主題是同性戀，劇目的故事概念更是葉志偉提供，但可以感受到的就不只是同性戀的感覺和無奈，背後還有孤獨，渴望被愛，也有一點小道理。此劇絕對值得多看一次，他們說十二月或會重演。

就從看到他們的宣傳單張開始，就知道他們有能力重演，入場後也印證我的想法。場內打扮光鮮的觀眾（尤其是男觀眾）不少，而且可觀性甚高。我坐在第二行的末段，偶爾回頭觀望觀眾反應，眼前一亮。再看看自己的衣著，唉，是兩個不同的世界。

當然台上的風光更明媚，就好像是一件件希臘雕塑放在台上，嘩，又是另一個世界，又摸摸自己的肚子，唉。我想說的是，對於這個社群，這套劇目很吸引，我相信有能力再多重演一兩次。

配菜（或者有人以為是主菜）說夠了，應說一點對此劇的看法，可是要留待下次再寫。

更多：異型金剛。

重回

荒廢了這個網誌一段時間，這就是網誌的 period，總是每隔一段時間就完全喪失了寫文字的興緻，喪失了還有表達自己的感覺的衝動。

又或是個人語文能力差，一下子文字難以表達心中所想。

應該是時候改變了，九月，回想上年同一時間，為自己定下目標，現在停滯不前，更看不到將來的道路，又是一陣唏噓。

我的九型人格

見林菠蘿同學做了一個九型人格分析，我又照做了一個。九型人格，也就只是一個參考。記得數月前一個電視節目介紹這個東西，更有公司拿它來做招請員工的指標，這很可笑，因為他只是一個參考，而且我不相信人格就是這麼簡單，能用九個格子定出來。況且，自己是任何一個類型，不是自己更清楚嗎？

有趣的是，我和林同學的三個主要類型一樣。

九型人格分析

第四型	藝術型、浪漫者、自我型、憑感覺者  16%
第二型	助人者、全愛型、助人型、成就他人者、博愛型  13%
第一型	完美主義者、完美型、改革者、改進型、秩序大使  13%
第八型	領袖型、能力型、挑戰者、保護者、權威型  12%
第五型	智慧型、觀察者、思想型、理性分析者、思考型  10%
第九型	和平型、和平者、和諧型、維持和諧者  10%
第七型	快樂主義型、豐富型、活躍型、創造可能者、享樂型  9%
第三型	成就者、事業型、成就型、實踐型  9%
第六型	忠誠型、忠誠型、尋找安全者、謹慎型  9%

我的九型人格分析？

你擁有藝術家的性格，多愁善感且想像力豐富，會常沉醉於自己的想像世界裡。另一方面，由於你是感情主導的人，有些工作你不喜歡就可能會放棄不做，不會考慮責任的問題。

music matters

星期六晚去咗聽何韻詩 music matters 演唱會。我第一次去會展聽音樂，以前通常係睇乜展乜展多。

我覺得，呢個場嘅氣氛同紅館嗰個好唔同囉。去紅館，就好似係有啲乜嘢盛會咁，黎會展就好似真係聽音樂咁。場地音響係唔錯，不過唔知係咪冇經驗定係其他原因，間唔中有啲拍拍聲或者 feedback。

同埋，我有啲唔係咁滿意嗰啲扭蛋公仔，既然係 music matters，扭蛋呢樣嘢又咁哂資源，係咪應該有啲本末倒置？

講返個場，我覺得啲燈光好靚，連佈置都係好有心思，有好深嘅印象。

係唱緊汽水樽裡的咖啡、勞斯萊斯、光明會等歌曲嘅時候，我聽到我好多人一齊唱，好似大家聚埋舒發自己嘅情感。我都有一齊唱，仲唱得好大聲，話哂都係我啲主題曲。

唔知點解最感動係我聽過好多次嘅天使藍，我朋友話最近知到呢首歌唱乜，我就好耐好耐之前已經參透咗首歌唱乜。

同朋友喺銅鑼灣傾咗一陣，我突然有個感覺：「始終一天，我會甘心接受不會被愛。」而家問題係，我好似仲未接受到。

買咗何韻詩 what really matters 新碟，裡面除咗幽默感幾鍾意之外，仲有一首《月光寶盒》我都好鍾意，尤其是其中兩句歌詞：

總要　容納各樣痛楚至算得存在過
總要　至少試過分開至算迷戀過

迎新營我又想講

上星期身痕做O'Camp 執委，美其名係做嘢其實都係為咗返去玩。返咗工大年半，生活苦悶，又冇乜滋潤，返中大的確係遠離煩囂嘅好地方，尤其係睇住啲新生開展大學生活，而三年之後嘅事，當然係三年之後再算。

除咗做組爸或者 spy 之外，應該已經做哂喺細O可以做嘅角色。原來做完大組長之後返去做執位又係一個新嘅體會，或者我以前冇諗過執位究竟係做乜。我又開始明白，原來做唔同的位置都有佢嘅難處。

玩咗兩三年，一班做執位嘅老餅或者都睇開咗，唔再在意某啲工作應該點做點做。比着係兩年前或者三年前嘅我，一定會嘈到拆天。我咁嘅意思唔代表做嘢求其咗，只不過係，我諗有啲嘢，有佢哋自己嘅做法啩。

呢幾日同新生或輔導員傾計，佢哋都話今年 O'Camp 搞得好好，大家都玩得好開心。就我觀察所得，大家都應該玩得好開心，新生由唔熟玩到熟，雖然最後我要返工睇唔到佢哋走，但我諗應該都係盡興而歸。

不過，個 Camp 搞得成唔成功呢個問題值得深究，因為唔係新生玩得開心就叫做成功。當然啦，O'Camp 最重要係要盡興，如果盡興，大概都成功咗一大半。咁其餘個小半呢？

呢個時候我哋就要諗吓，細 O 嘅對象係乜嘢人呢？

答新生唔係錯，只不過答得唔全面。

唔知籌委又有冇盡興呢？唔知其他老餅又覺得點？

我諗新生都玩得幾熟，但唔知有幾多新生識得二年級嘅籌委呢？

而且，今年嘅安排有好多需要改善嘅地方，我諗有啲籌委都會留意得到。與其他學系比較，高低立見。如果唔係我哋氣氛好，應該都會幾麻煩。可能搞咗咁耐，有啲地方做得無咁完善，一睇就睇到。

當年我都做錯做漏好多嘢，所以我覺得咁都好正常，就好似上面咁講，我睇開咗啲。無論如何，我覺得認真少少會好啲。

如果覺得呢個諗法無聊，我有個簡單啲嘅諗法：如果O'Camp只求盡興，咁不如怒 con 新生就算了，我覺得都應該幾盡興。

我仍然覺得，CS Soc 同其他 Soc 真係有啲唔同。最少會其他 Soc 唔會有個無聊老餅返去玩 O'Camp，之後仲要寫埋啲咁嘅嘢。

後記：今年大組長做得唔錯，要讚。有啲 OC 都做得唔錯，也要讚。

迎新營之後

這數天的我極厚面皮
盡演執委老餅大組長等角色
為的是回到自己的回憶裡頭
再感受一些苦與樂
當然，樂比苦多
這數天我樂透了

今年的迎新營給我一個逃離現實的機會
換另一角度去重看當日的每一點
而這次是我的最後機會
不竟，下年八月中旬
還有誰知道我是何許人？

記得兩年前，曾在營刊裡寫著
要新生享受他們的第一個迎新營
自此過了三個迎新營
有些大組仔女真的參加了全部

想到這裡，我才發現兩年已過
看看現在的生活
想想中大的生活
更添懷念

下雨了

香港的八月，果然是如別不同。

賣旗日

明天為明光社賣旗日。現請各位朋友，在隨意從口袋取出一元五角，準備投入收款袋前，請先了解明光社是一個甚麼組織。

四個字：不知所謂。一千字：如果我早一天知道，會寫一千字詳細討論明光社是甚麼東東，可惜我三小時前才收到這個消息。

光明會「明光賣旗 FAQ」2007年6月5日

明光賣旗、有何目的？
根據明光社提供的資料，賣旗旨在購買更大的辦公室，使其可以繼續為禍人間。

更多：明光社 - 維基百科

今日我去咗書展

其實我冇乜書想買呢，尤其是上年買咗嘅書今年都仲未睇哂，今年費時買咁多。我只係買咗葉志偉著《係命嚟嘅》，草日《猿人都市５》同埋幫朋友買咗本通用圖書出版《香港街道大廈詳圖》，其實我仲應該買《偽科學鑑證》和 Mapping Hong Kong，最後唔記得咗買。

今日去書展，主要係因為葉志偉會喺 kubrick 嘅攤位出現，所以特登去拜會一下，攞個簽名，睇吓佢係點嘅樣，嗯。

佢寫咗個 "enjoy life & have dreams" 俾我，我哋握過手。

周圍亂咁行，又隨意翻幾頁書，又去咗睇吓林一峰嘅新書《思生活》講乜東東。

隨此之外當然係睇吓附近有乜嘢仔行過啦，都唔少係我杯茶架。

我一啲都唔覺得我要求高囉。